Have you ever heard someone ask what’s your why? I think the first time I was asked that was when I was trying to start a side-hustle a couple of years ago.  We will get into the fact that it shouldn’t be a hustle another day… but I digress.  As I processed the question further and as I’ve gone further into healing, I’ve really come to realize that your why is not just about your business. It’s actually about your life as well.  If you work a job for someone else, if you are a stay at home mom, if you have or want to have a business of your own, why?

Have you ever really thought about it?  Specifically, if you are looking to make a big change in your life, it will come with some kind of challenges.  They may be small.  You may be in perfect alignment and know your purpose and see your path clearly, but it is a rare thing indeed if there is no dip at all as you head down the path. 

Are you familiar with a dip?  Something comes along and throws you a curve ball… it takes you off course… or your imposter syndrome kicks in and you are suddenly feeling like this was all a mistake and you can’t do it afterall, all your confidence is just gone.  This is a dip. It’s when momentum stops, and the high of making it all happen, dips. Most journeys are full of highs and lows. The highs are fairly easy, but I find many of us aren’t prepared for the lows.  They throw us and we struggle to recover.  In those moments, more than ever, you need your why to keep you going.  To right the ship. To help you find center again. 

I hear a lot of people say their why is their kids or their spouse.  I did too once upon a time.  I ask you to go deeper though.  What do you mean your kids?

Is it to stay home with them and not have to worry about taking off for things you want to do with them?  To be with them?  Maybe you want to be able to pay for vacations or fun things to do with them and you are looking for things that will give you that freedom. 

So when you really dig and ask the questions, you may find that the real answer is you want freedom… time freedom, financial freedom.

Maybe you want to show them that working hard and pursuing your dreams and never giving up can give you the life of your dreams.  Being that amazing example can be a great why, but is it strong enough to really bring you back to center?  If it is great. 

My why became about freedom and financial freedom.  Being able to put money away for the things we need without having to struggle.  The freedom to travel or go to events without having to count vacation days first.

Your why can be a multitude of things.  You may be someone who is in recovery and want and need to help other addicts.  You may be a domestic abuse survivor that wants to empower others to leave their abuser.  You may love helping people find the perfect diet to fit their body type and to be more healthy.

As you go through this journey to the life of your dreams there will be times when things are great.  You are answering the call.  You have your ideas and you are putting them out there and it’s working… and there are days where you hit snags.  Your launch didn’t go well.  You had negative comments on a post… A dip can be many things.  It could be illness or a personal setback. 

There will be dips where you don’t want to face your computer.  Dips where you feel like you don’t have a creative thought left in your head. You will look at a stack of crafting tools and supplies in your office and wonder to yourself “what was I thinking?”

In those moments, going back to your why is as important as ever. 

If you don’t know your why, I encourage you to discover it.

A great way to work on it is to journal.  If you don’t have a journal, find a notebook, or buy a journal… but the point is – write it down.  Let your thoughts and emotions come out.  Make a list. 

Mine starts with 1) I hate my commute.  2) I hate that my time is not my own.  3) I hate that I have to figure out how to pay for things. 

That list can go on, but my point is, do you see a pattern here?  That’s a lot of hate!  Have you heard “you reap what you sow?”  Well, when all you do is hate then that’s what you tend to get, is things you hate.

What is better?  Hate or love?  Even a strong like or want is better than hate…

What if you turned that around and went back through your list and turned those hates into wants or goals.  This can also include things that you envision your dream life to be.   

For me… mine were things like I love being creative.  I love having the freedom to travel.  I love my co-workers.  I love my paycheck.  I love my benefits. 

My child is older and doesn’t need my time like he did before but financial freedom allows me to help him get on his feet into adulthood.  Being creative helps me work with him as he grows his own business.  Time freedom allows us to do things as a family without having to worry about time off. 

It also gives me the ability to do what I love.  Is that always easy?  No… are there days where your creativity feels off?  Of course.  But That time freedom allows me to hit those slumps without worrying though.  And doing what I love… helps me be a better me.

So my why is about freedom.

I also learned that there are things about my corporate life that I didn’t want to give up.  The steady paycheck, my benefits… the family of co-workers.  So I had to consider those things and how I could structure a life I wanted that included freedom but some of the benefits of having a job. 

That compromise and the parts that are so important to me have to be included in my why especially on days when I am feeling frustrated and lost.  I need to remind myself of the reasons I made the choices I made. 

So what is your why?  Maybe yours isn’t about freedom at all.  Maybe its more about others.  We talked about this before… maybe you know you need to help people.  Maybe You’ve been down a difficult path and you now want to help others make their way to a better life.  When you hit a dip and feel like you can’t do it anymore… will the image of you, at your lowest and remembering how someone helped you

be the thing that can pull you out of your funk?  Remembering that someone desperate needs you now and you want to pay it forward?

That’s your why.

I believe the key is to peel back the layers and get to the core of what you are really doing this for.  Get to the core of your purpose and why you are on this path.  This may take time… it may change or expand a bit, but most likely if you are truly at your core belief it will remain largely the same. 

Now don’t get me wrong… your why can be truly simple.. it could be making the perfect cupcake because that brings you more joy than anything else in your life.  That is a beautiful thing!  But is there more?  Do you love the creativity of making a new recipe?… do you love the art of decorating?… Do you love the smile on a childs face when they get the perfect cupcake for their birthday or their celebration of an A in school?

I encourage you to make sure… to Journal it out… you will see those patterns pointing to what you love and why you love it.  It can carry you through the rough and challenging parts of your journey.

Remember… Your why is yours and only yours.  You can’t use mine… you can’t use your friends.  It needs to be yours and I believe you need to dig deeper, and continue to peal back the layers until you get to the down and dirty real truth.  Peal until there’s no more to peal and there you will find your real why. 

Once you have it, you will be able to refer back to it, both on good and bad days.  Being able to remind yourself… and having that beacon of clarity and safety can bring you back to center when you feel lost.  It can also be the source of celebration when you reach a milestone or truly see your goals come to life.  When you really know your why you are setting your ultimate goal to your dream life and taking the first step to reaching it.

What’s your why?

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